I find myself coming back to what the Scriptures have to say about speech. Why? So much blessing can come from good speech habits and so much harm can come from sinful speech habits. I hope you enjoy the following list. We would often post some of these around the house and memorize them. Our purpose was to create good speech habit and show how God’s authoritative Scriptures talks about our words.
Here are 12 of my favorite communication verses. Memorize them. Post them around your house.
My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for human anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness. James 1:19-20 CSB. Ok, so I said I was going to use Proverbs but James is the book of Proverbs for the New Testament. And this is a key, key verse. It describes a beautiful progression. We must realize that godly communication starts with being quick to listen. I really want to know what the other person is saying. Then as I respond, I am slow or careful in my words. Finally, I am slow to get angry. If there is anger, I want to control it because it will not accomplish what God wants. In fact, I am destroying the relationship and dishonoring the Lord.
Where words are many sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. Proverbs 10:19. A home is a place where there can be lots of idle chatter. So can a church. Where there are lots of words, there is bound to be sin. Sometimes we can talk too much. You and I do not have to say everything that is on our minds. Self-control in speech is a virtue. As a good friend says, “Every thought bubble does not have to be a speech bubble.” God has given us two ears and one mouth. All of us, but especially “external processors,” need to take this to heart.
Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18. In this convicting verse, God is telling us that our careless words can pierce another person. How many of us can still remember hurtful things others have said to us? On the other hand, that same tongue can bring healing to the soul. The tongue is that powerful. Therefore, I will aim to be skilled at speaking healing words and ask forgiveness quickly when I speak piercing words.
He who speaks before listening, it is to his folly and shame. Proverbs 18:13. Yet another verse that encourages us to listen more than we speak. This verse goes further and says that a person who does not listen is foolish and shameful. I have memorized this verse and let it reinforce the same principle found in James 1:19 – seek to understand before seeking to be understood.
The purpose of man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding will draw it out. Proverbs 20:5. It is not just enough to be silent. A skilled communicator knows how to ask questions to draw out what a person is thinking in their heart. Sometimes the other person doesn’t know what is going on in their heart. Sometimes they do know but they use the wrong words. Maybe we mishear or misinterpret those words. A person of understanding seeks to draw out those purposes in good communication.
Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24 …pleasant words increase persuasiveness. Proverbs 16:21. Positively, pleasant words are powerful. Sometimes those sweet words can be encouragement. At other times they can be how we say something. Perhaps we use a story or make an argument using words our listener will hear. A wise communicator is growing in using pleasant words that increase the chance of being heard and being persuasive.
A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1. Unfortunately, just as we will get upset at others, they will also get upset at us. How we respond is important. If we return a harsh word with a harsh word, a fight will be kindled. We are not merely a victim. We have control over our actions and our reactions. Through gentle and pleasant words we can do our part to calm a quarrel rather than inflame it.
Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself. Proverbs 26:4. Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes. Proverbs 26:5 These two verses sit right next to each other. One tells us not to answer a fool. The other tells us to answer a fool. Why the obvious tension? Because it is a matter of wisdom. Sometimes we walk away and decide a person’s foolishness has so darkened his mind, that as I get upset in the discussion I am becoming just like him. On the other hand, there are times, we do need to say something to establish our position and hopefully influence the one acting foolishly.
A fool shows is annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult. Proverbs 12:16. This verse is a good reminder that, at times, we can and should overlook hurtful words. People should not feel like they are walking on eggshells around us. See also 19:11 where we are told it is to our glory to overlook an offense.
If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse. Proverbs 27:14. We had a lot of fun with this one as a family. But the point is serious. Not only how but when you say something is really important. Think about the receptiveness of the other person before you speak.
Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else and not your own lips. Proverbs 27:2. The point? Be modest. Keep doing your job. Don’t brag on yourself. Let others praise you.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth but only what is helpful for building others up according to the need. Ephesians 4:29. I know I said only Proverbs, but this is also the preeminent verse in the New Testament. If any unwholesome word comes out of our mouth we can confess it as sin. Positively, we should attempt to think about the need of others and we should speak words that build up and give grace.
