Let’s take a moment and think about a number of things that inhibit communication.
I came across this list in my files. I think it is original but if it isn’t I am happy to give credit. I believe you will find this list of different inhibitors convicting. When we act this way we can confess our sin. And again, we also want to train our children in good communication.
- The Silent Treatment – sulking, withdrawing (2 Corinthians 6:11-13, Genesis 3:8, 1 John 1:7, Ephesian 4:25 speak truthfully)
- Using inflammatory words – stupid, etc. (Proverbs 12:18, Proverbs 16:24)
- Using generalizing words – always, never, every time (Proverbs 12:18, Ephesians 4:25 speak the truth)
- Asking questions to prosecute a verdict instead of asking to receive information (Proverbs 20:5, 18:2)
- Bringing up old disagreements/ Not sticking to one disagreement at a time
- Nitpicking (Proverbs 11:12, Proverbs 27:3, 15-16, Proverbs 19:11)
- Criticizing in front of others – friends/children (Matthew 18:15)
- Not blocking out time to communicate (Luke 10:38-40)
- Picking the wrong time to talk (Proverbs 27:14, Proverbs 25:20, Ecclesiastes 8:5-6)
- Mind reading – “I know what you are thinking” (Proverbs 20:5)
- Blameshifting – “The reason I do this wrong thing is because you…” (Gen 3:12-13)
- Excusing our own sin – “I did that because I was tired or sick or…” (James 4:1-3, Matthew 12:34)
- Having a quick reaction without hearing the other person out (Proverbs 18:13, Joshua 22:16, 24, Proverbs 13:3b, Proverbs 15:28)
- Quick to have an angry response (Proverbs 20:5, Ecclesiastes 7:9, 1 Corinthians 13:5 Proverbs 15:1, James 1:19-20)
- Sarcastic words (Proverb 12:18, Proverbs 16:24)
- Exhortation vs. encouragement (Proverbs 12:25, 25:11;25:20)
- Nonverbal communications – eye roll, shoulder shrug, head shake, the heavy sigh (Genesis 4:5, Psalm 101:5b, Proverbs 30:13, Proverbs 15:30a)
- Interrupting the other person (Proverbs 18:13, 1 Cor 13:5 not rude)
- Lecturing (Proverbs 17:27, Proverbs 10:19)
- Defensiveness (Genesis 4:9)
- Building walls around the heart (2 Cor 6:11-13)
- Coarse joking (Proverbs 26:18-19, Ephesians 5:4)
- Speaking in haste without listening (Proverbs 29:20)
- Picking the wrong tone (Proverbs 27:14)
- Provoking (Proverbs 27:3, 27:15)
- Speaking harshly (Colossians 3:19, Proverbs 15:1b)
- Using too many words (Proverbs 17:27, Ecclesiates 6:11)
- Not understanding the importance of words (Matthew 12:36, James 1:26, James 3:9-10).
