Sharon and I continue to lead a young married group. This past week I passed out the following self-evaluation. I thought it might helpful in considering the communication in your home between husband and wife and between parent and teen.
(I have formatted the evaluation for your computer. On your phone the chart does not align.) You can also find the pdf here.
Consider printing it out and talking over it with your spouse.
Hardly Ever Seldom Sometimes Frequently Almost Always
I blow up or vent my anger when I talk to you.
1——————————————————————————————– 10
I clam up instead of talking to you.
1——————————————————————————————– 10
I interrupt you when you’re talking.
1——————————————————————————————– 10
I judge your motives. I “know what you are thinking.”
1——————————————————————————————– 10
I use sweeping generalizations and absolute statements when I talk about you.
1——————————————————————————————– 10
I blame shift my responsibilities to you.
1——————————————————————————————– 10
I dig out things from the past rather than sticking with the issue.
1——————————————————————————————– 10
I use harsh words when I speak to you.
1——————————————————————————————– 10
I speak whenever I want about whatever I want and expect you to listen.
1——————————————————————————————— 10
I speak about anything and everything and have too many words.
1——————————————————————————————— 10
I tend to complain, sigh, or speak negatively about the world and others.
1———————————————————————————————- 10
Positively
I ask questions to understand better.
1———————————————————————————————- 10
I am encouraging to you.
1———————————————————————————————- 10
I invite your input. “Here is what I am thinking. What do you think?”
1———————————————————————————————- 10
I use pleasant words when I disagree. “I am not sure I see it that way.”
1———————————————————————————————- 10
I think about the impact of my words not just the intent.
1———————————————————————————————- 10
I think about things that hinder/interfere with communication like timing.
1———————————————————————————————–10
Again, you can also find the pdf here. What would you add?
Want to think more about this topic?
Read chapters 7, 10, 11, and 12, in The Disciple-Making Parent in which I talk about communicating well. Or listen to those chapters in the free audiobook. Email us here to get your free audiobook if you don’t already have it.
