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Chap Bettis

How Children’s Directors and Teachers Can Help Parents

By Church Life, Family Discipleship, Parenting: Childhood, Parenting: Early Years, Parenting: Teens and Beyond

What can I do as a children’s director or teacher to help parents disciple their children? I have been asked this question or a variation of it many times. A children’s director or children’s teacher loves working with kids. However, he or she knows the biggest influence happens in the home. So even as he or she is working with the children, there is a longing to help parents. Often he or she is worried about the influences in the home but doesn’t know what to do. There are a number of obstacles that children’s ministers have. Sometimes it is the…

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Recovering Proverbs 22:6 for a New Generation

By Christian Living, Family Discipleship, Parenting: Childhood, Parenting: Early Years, Parenting: Teens and Beyond
In a previous article, I had us reexamine Proverbs 22:6. In this proverb, God states, Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.  Clearing Up Misunderstandings Years ago, this verse was understood as a discipleship verse. Parents thought, “if I train up my child in the Christian faith, then when he is older, he will not depart from that faith.” It was understood as a promise. As a result of thinking this way, when young people walked away from the faith, these parents felt guilt. "What did I...
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How Do I Lead When I Don’t Know Where to Go?

By Family Discipleship, Leadership, Marriage

I was recently asked this question by an earnest new husband. He is easygoing with an energetic wife. Both wanted to honor the Lord. But he articulated a struggle he was having as they faced some unexpected decisions that had large financial consequences. I thought he articulated a struggle many young (and older) men have. How do I lead us when I don’t know where I am going? Here was my response. In one sense, you do know where you are going. You want to have a loving, caring relationship with your wife. You want to honor the Lord with…

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Teaching Our Children to Forgive

By Family Discipleship, Parenting: Childhood, Parenting: Early Years, Parenting: Teens and Beyond

As a parent I have tried to keep short accounts with my children. When I have sinned by getting angry or not listening to them, I have sought their forgiveness. Included with that asking was sometimes a statement of working on correcting this area in my life. In addition to my asking them for forgiveness, they will need to ask forgiveness of me. Though God has forgiven all our sin on the cross, he still commands us to confess our sin to him (1 John 1:9). We confess our sin not to blot it out, but to restore our relationship…

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Chap Bettis – Preventing Destructive Marital Conflict

By Family Discipleship, Marriage, Podcast
In any marriage, there will be disagreements, but do you know how to keep your conflict constructive rather than destructive? The issue is not whether we'll have conflict or not, but whether that conflict will be destructive or constructive. Constructive conflict leads to a new understanding of each other, the issue, and ourselves. You end up closer together at the end. Destructive conflict, on the other hand, results in continued upset and bitterness. It leads the parties to pull away emotionally. So how do we prevent destructive marriage conflict? It's vitally important that we understand this because our marriage displays...
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Helping Your Kids Know God Better: An Interview with Focus on the Family

By Parenting: Childhood, Parenting: Early Years, Parenting: Teens and Beyond
Over the summer, I had the opportunity to sit down with Jim Daly and John Fuller at Focus on the Family to discuss my book The Disciple-Making Parent. In this interview, we discussed the following: Why Christian parenting is counter-cultural.   Practical things that should alert you that you’re creating a child-centered family.   Defining Pharisee parenting where moms and dads need to be sure their walk with the Lord is solid before preaching to their kids.   Three common myths moms and dads have about discipling their children.   Encouragement to parents who feel like they have already failed...
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The Battle for Your Child’s Heart and Mind

By Parenting: Childhood, Parenting: Early Years, Parenting: Teens and Beyond
Chap Bettis at Focus on the Family In today's cultural moment, forces are gunning for our children and grandchildren. There's a battle raging for your child's heart and mind. I sat down with Focus on the Family to discuss the importance of this battle as we seek to faithfully pass on the gospel baton to our children.   There Are Two Prodigal Sons  A lot of people miss that there are two prodigal sons. One prodigal is off ruining the family fortune and his father's honor through sin. But the other one is staying in the house; he is just...
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Let Your Kids Wrestle with the Faith

By Parenting: Childhood, Parenting: Teens and Beyond
Timothy grew up without a believing father but a faithful mom and grandmother. In 2 Timothy 3:14, Paul to Timothy, “continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of;” We see in this passage that he learned faith in Christ as a young person, but he had to become convinced. I know in my own story I think I made a genuine profession of faith around the age of eight years old. But during the time of high school, I had doubts. I had questions about Jesus existing, God existing, or are we just making all this up?...
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Big Tech’s Battle for Your Child’s Faith and Attention

By Parenting: Childhood, Parenting: Early Years, Parenting: Teens and Beyond
I've heard people say today's teenagers are more connected than ever, but they're more lonely than ever. Why? Because they're relating to their friends through a screen. And not only that, there's other content they can access through a screen; the whole world is on this phone. I go back to affection and authority. As a parent, I'm going to realize that there's a danger both in the amount of time and the content. Just the amount of time they spend on their phone changes their interactions with their friends. So, I'm going to try and guard them. I'm going...
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Balancing Affection and Authority with Your Child

By Parenting: Childhood
How can we balance affection and authority?  One helpful principle is to think about parenting as both affection and authority. That's the way God treats us. He is both the ultimate authority, and he is our loving Heavenly Father. Similarly, we want to show our children affection. We want there to be joy in the house. We want them to know that they are loved, and there is grace. And at the same time, we can also have boundaries. We can have consequences. In fact, there have been some psychological studies that have come out that have found that children...
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