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Parenting: Childhood

Forced To Be Kind?

By Parenting: Childhood

Kindness in the FamilyIf you have young children, I know that low-level fighting and provoking seem like part of normal life. What did we expect? We gave birth to little sinners and little sinners like to find anything they can to fight about.Yet in the midst of that messiness, we will want to aim for family unity. Notice I said aim. I wrote about that focus several weeks ago. If you missed it, you can read it here on the blog: Aiming for Family Unity. But in the midst of that battle for unity, how can we train our children? In digging deeper…

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The Memory Pot

By Parenting: Childhood, Parenting: Teens and Beyond

I have said before that the family is to display the Trinity. In the family, as in the Trinity, there is unity, diversity, love, honor, and obedience. And as an intentional parent I repeatedly wanted to cast a vision for all of those values when our children were at home.But do you notice a missing component?Joy. The Triune God is a happy God and overflows with joy! Similarly, I believe one of the most attractive qualities we can strive for in our families is joy. Joy marks us off as different than the world. Joy is a fruit of the Holy…

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We’re Working On That

By Parenting: Childhood, Parenting: Early Years

When Your Child Embarrasses You  If it hasn’t happened this week, you know it’s coming.You meet up with another family and out of the blue, your five-year-old pushes a four-year-old girl to the ground. You are humiliated.Or your four-year-old whines when given a command or says, “No” to you. And all this happened in front of other parents. Expecting Mess Ups As parents we are not responsible for the actions of our young children. They are children after all. Parenting is a process with many bumps along the road. In Parenting with Confidence, I urge parents to focus on winning the…

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Aiming for Family Unity

By Parenting: Childhood, Parenting: Teens and Beyond

Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell together in unity!…For there the Lord has commanded the blessing, life forevermore. Psalm 133:1,3 We just returned from a unique family trip/vacation. All of our children have jobs, so Sharon and I proposed a trip out west where we would pay for housing. All the other expenses would be split evenly. They agreed. And we have just returned from a week where we saw the Grand Canyon, Zion National Park, and Bryce National Park. Since all of us are working, we were able to enjoy more adventures than when I was a…

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Asking Questions Rather Than Giving Commands

By Parenting: Childhood

I came across the above cartoon recently. It was my second reminder of a helpful parenting strategy that I think reinforces biblical values. I was inconsistent in using it, but when I did it bore wonderful fruit. And it resulted in a more peaceful home. The strategy is simple: respond to a request by asking the child to remember a family rule or principle.  Or we could ask a question to remind about what a child is supposed to be doing. For example: “Mom. I’m hungry can I get some chips?” “What is our rule about snacks between meals?” “We only…

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Gospel-Infused Parenting: A Conversation with Bob and Julie Kauflin

By Parenting: Childhood, Podcast

The Kauflin name is probably very familiar to you. Although you may know him for his contribution to worship, you may not know that Bob Kauflin has thought a lot about parenting. I first heard Bob teach on parenting at a conference probably about 10 years ago and I thought, “This is excellent teaching from a godly man.” He and Julie graciously agreed to talk with me recently. Bob is the Director of Sovereign Grace Music and the author of numerous popular worship songs. He is also the author of two books – Worship Matters and True Worshipers. In addition,…

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Parenting Q and A with Chap

By Parenting: Childhood, Podcast

What if you could invite me to your Sunday School and ask me some parenting questions to fill in the corners of The Disciple-Making Parent.   That’s exactly what this recording is.  A friend invited me to his church to finish up their study of  The Disciple-Making Parent. In that time, we covered all sorts of subjects including ones I did not talk about like: prodigals, advice to young parents, and commitment to the local church.   Listen below or on itunes here.

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Are We Dishonest in Our Praise?

By Parenting: Childhood

At a recent conference, a kind grandmother who was also a public school teacher asked my thoughts about overpraising. When I asked what she meant she explained that she had noticed parents praising every little thing their child did. In a desire to be positive, encouraging, and perhaps not hurt their esteem, they were praising poor work. And she felt the children could sense their dishonesty. It was affecting her classroom. After we talked more, I had to admit that I agreed with her. Overpraising starts with a wrong view of my child as fragile and breakable who must be…

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Nine Elements of an Effective Donut Date

By Parenting: Childhood

I guess I am becoming somewhat of an expert on the donut date. I regularly took my children out on donut dates, have written two journals for donut dates, and (at conferences) people love telling me their donut date stories. I truly believe that a donut date might give some of the best return on the investment of time of anything we do as parents. Other regular activities that produce significant results would include regular church attendance at a healthy church, regular meals together, and regular conversations about Jesus. But for the amount of money and time (five dollars and…

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Overthinking or Underthinking Parenting?

By Parenting: Childhood

I am staring at an article in a denominational newspaper written by a young pastor with doctorate degree from a leading seminary. In that article he makes a statement I have heard before. “Many young Christian parents are overthinking the parenting thing. Interestingly, the Bible has very little to say about specific techniques other than, ‘Feed em, love ‘em, don’t drive em crazy, and point em to Jesus.’” As a pastor and an author of a book on parenting, I think this statement is glib and dangerous. I agree with some of his concerns. Unfortunately, his play for a laugh…

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