Why is it that so many adult children drift away from their parents?
Although my wife and I are at the beginning of this process, I want to share an anecdote that has stuck with me for 20 years and I hope to put into practice.
In the video series The Blessing, Dr. John Trent relays how he and his two brothers were raised by a single mom. But now, with all three of them grown, she is still extremely close. And he relays one of her secrets.
She has a small bookshelf in her home with three shelves. On each shelf are books about psychology, medicine, and engineering. Why? Because those are the areas of expertise for each of her three sons. In other words, she had continued learning about subjects that interested them. As a result, she had something to talk with them about.
We need to remember that a friendship is a warm and affectionate relationship around something in common.
Though certainly we have Christ in common, one way we can continue to draw near to our adult children is to learn about subjects that interest them.
I was reminded of this principle on a drive to pick up my right-brained, artistic son for a trip to New York City. I thought we would have time for a trip to a museum. “Ok,” I said, “Teach me the basics about looking at a painting. Honestly, I just don’t get it.” And with that one question, the father became the student for an hour.
Later he remarked to me, “Thanks Dad for asking about art. I related that question to one of my art professors and he said he could count on one hand the conversations he has had with his father about art.”
If God has given these children to grow me (he has) and if there is a still a whole world to learn about (and there is), how much fun is it to have the child become the tutor?
Mrs. Trent knew this. And now, so do I.
Application Question: What subjects are your children into? What questions can you ask so that they will teach you?
