Skip to main content
MarriageUncategorized

Your Spouse is Not Your Rock

If you have ever watched any construction you know that a large amount of time is spent establishing a part of the building or house you will not see. At first glance, it seems that builders spend a disproportionate amount of time digging the foundation of the building. But that unseen construction is vital for the structure to stand during the coming stresses. Without it, the building will fall (Matthew 7:47).
 
The doctrine of God’s unchangeableness (or as theologians call it – immuntability) is similar. At first glance it doesn’t seem as interesting as other attributes like God’s love, omniscience, or sovereignty. But like a foundation, it give support to the structure during the stresses.
 
David referenced this strong metaphor over and over again. When faced with the trials of life, he was able to declare, The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock in whom I take refuge (Psalm 18:2). God even refers to himself as the eternal rock.
 
While God’s immutability suggests a God who does not change, he is not static. He is more like an unchanging, ever-active Niagara Falls. Always steady. Always faithful.
 
And that brings us to family life. In the small troubles of life (bosses, disobedient children, financial problems, marriage strains) or the large trials (cancer, unemployment, betrayal) we need a rock. Unfortunately, it is easy to expect our spouse to be that rock. Sometimes husbands expect their wives to be their rock. At other times, it is the wife that expects her husband to stand strong. Since he cannot be what only God can be, it is easy to become discontented in that trial.
 
Ruth Graham’s quotation for wives certainly applies to both.  “It is a foolish woman who expects her husband to be to her that which only Jesus Christ Himself can be: ready to forgive, totally understanding, unendingly patient, invariably tender and loving, unfailing in every area, anticipating every need, and making more than adequate provision.”

In other words, don’t expect your spouse to be your rock. Only God can be that.  

You do have a rock. Only it is not your spouse. That’s too much to ask of anyone.