I recently received this letter from a friend.
Hi Chap. A young father with two young children (2 and 5) asked, “What can I do to teach my children to love God, be interested in the Bible and church? I shared with him about being a model of loving God’s Word, reading the Bible with the children, and prioritizing Sunday worship. Do you have a top 5 list of things that parents (especially fathers) should do to help their children’s spiritual training?
What a great question! These years are vital for laying a good foundation. As I give you my five areas to focus on, I think you will find them very ordinary. However, at these young ages, it is necessary to be intentional. Family discipleship is not complicated in these early years, but it does take work.
Here is my reply to that young dad and the top five things I would focus on.
1. Delight over them with affection. Scripture says that God delights over his people with singing (Zephaniah 3:17). As men, we have the high privilege of representing God to our children. He loves us. He cares for us. He is interested in us. In the teen years, when there will be a temptation to rebel, they will discover it is very hard to rebel against love and joy. So by loving them as dads we are actually “discipling” them. They are unconsciously developing a view of God. And they will unconsciously connect with and want to model us.
2. Love them with biblical authority. This principle balances the first. A survey of Scripture reveals that God is presented as immanent and transcendent. For example, Jesus teaches us to pray to our Father (an intimate term) who is in heaven (transcendent). As a parent, we too model these qualities. I like to describe parenting as consisting of affection and authority.
In general, this younger generation emphasizes the affection principle but ignores the authority principle. How do we implement this? As a parent, I realize am called to train them to honor and obey their mother and me. It also means we have a home that is not child-centered. My children are a welcome part of the family but not the center of the family. As a dad, I am not desiring to be their friend or buddy. I am comfortable saying “No” and correcting when it is needed. I am not allowing my home to go down the gentle parenting path.
3. Develop a clear plan for training and obedience. Believe it or not, this is an important subset of what we call family discipleship! These young ages are the perfect time to train our children to obey us and have consequences when they don’t. This is not because we are on a power trip but, as God’s Word says, so that it may go well with them (Eph. 6:1-3). As our children obey us, they are learning to trust and obey the ultimate authority–God. This is one of the reasons that Scripture indicates a mark of a godly man is that his children are obedient to him (1 Tim. 3:4-5, 12). Training our children like this is part of our job as dads and part of our discipleship. Parenting with Confidence gives more practical help on this.
4. Speak the Word of God to them at their level. No doubt this is what you were thinking about when you asked this question. As dads, we are called to instruct our children and see that they are well-taught. And God is gracious, he gives us young children to practice on!
There are many ways that you can implement this according to their age. Our country is blessed with an abundance of children’s story bibles and character books. Don’t underestimate the power of reading to them. They are not too young! A two-year-old has 200-300 words in their vocabulary. But in just two years, by their fourth birthday, they will have 3- 5,000 words in their vocabulary. You want to have input into those words and make sure they have categories for: God, Jesus, gospel, sin, the cross, love, etc.
In addition, there are other ways we introduce the Word of God into their lives. Music can fill our homes and teach in many ways. And of course, catechisms have been used for generations as a way to teach families. Young children love the Q & A format! Memory verses can be introduced also. Their minds are like sponges. Take advantage of that!
5. Train them in godly habits before they even realize it. While character training cannot regenerate the heart, it does shape it. Often, today’s parent is fearful of training the character. But God calls us to this (Prov. 22:6). For example, train them that, “We read the Bible every day. We go to church on Sundays. We stand in church when everyone stands to sing. We greet other adults who greet us.” At night, before we put them to bed, we put their hands together and pray. We might sing the doxology or say the Lord’s prayer at night. There will be plenty of time for greater in-depth discussion as they grow older, but for now, we are training habits.
There is a lot more that could be said on this topic. I have included some links above in this quick reply. Nevertheless, these are good ages to lay a foundation!
Keep going!
