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For Thoughtful Wives by a Thoughtful Wife

Trillia Newbell hits at an area many pastors are afraid to touch, the self-righteous wife. If self-righteousness is a danger for everyone (and it is), then it certainly applies to the area of marriage.

Trillia observes:

After the honeymoon we returned to our home eager to start our new lives together as one. But soon the fairytale ended and real life began. It didn’t look quite like I had imagined. There were no glaring problems. No deep-rooted sin issues. Yet I was extremely aware of my husbands’ shortcomings, and I wasn’t holding back on sharing my thoughts.

I was quick to point out sin and eager to share “observations” about how he could change or grow as a leader, all under the pretense of being his helpmeet. I judged my husband harshly our first year of marriage. I was quite self-righteous. I thought I was right, and I played the role of his “holy spirit.” Like I said, I masked it as being his helpmeet. Wrong!

I have met with different couples where a key problem is the critical self-righteousness of a spouse – usually the wife. There is a place for correction in marriage. But there also is a large place for acceptance (Romans 15:7). My father-in-law’s wise proverb is needed here: She’s not perfect but she’s perfect for me.

Our children are observing the love we display in our marriage. Does it reflect the acceptance we have in Christ? Does it show off forbearance? or Fault-finding?

Read the whole thing and then ask the Holy Spirit and your husband for his feedback.

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