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Marriage

Pulling the Fire Alarm

By Family Discipleship, Leadership, Marriage

Several months ago our church hosted a marriage conference. You can hear one of the speaker’s sessions on conflict here. During the last session, there was a panel with couples who had been married for different amounts of time. Sharon and I were asked by our senior pastor to be on the panel as the older couple. At first, we objected. “We are hear to learn,” we told him. On the panel, we were open and honest about how hard we have had to work at our marriage. In Sharon’s words, “If marriage is a dance, then there are times it felt…

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Marriage Panel – A Real-Life Conversation and Encouragement

By Family Discipleship, Leadership, Marriage, Podcast
Marriage conferences can encourage and challenge us with the principles they teach. But how does it work in real life? Would you like to hear from some not so perfect couples? We’re continuing a short three-episode series on marriage and in this episode, you’re going to hear from two couples who have been married a while. They talk about how their marriages have endured and flourished over the years. ----- We want to help you raise strong disciples of Jesus Christ, who can stand strong in today's culture, and you can get the audiobook of the Disciple Making Parent absolutely...
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Deepak Reju – Handling Conflict in Marriage

By Family Discipleship, Leadership, Marriage
In today's episode, I want to share with you some information that's helped me. Our church recently hosted a marriage conference where Deepak Reju was the speaker. I found his third session on handling conflict especially helpful. In it,  he talked about how to deal with fights, how to pursue understanding your spouse, and how to make a genuine apology. So I believe you are going to be truly blessed by this episode. Deepak Reju serves as the pastor of Biblical Counseling and Family Ministry at Capitol Hill Baptist Church in Washington, DC. He and his wife Sarah, have five...
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Travis Rymer- 1 Peter 3 and Honoring Christ In Your Marriage

By Marriage, Podcast

Are you struggling in our marriage? What God intended for good can be incredibly difficult at times. How can God’s word help?  We know that marriage is the most intimate of relationships. Our marriages display the gospel to our children and to the world. God loves and blesses the institution of marriage. The Bible begins with a wedding and ends with the marriage of Christ and his bride. And yet marriage can be difficult. when two sinners are that close, problems arise.  Could this be why marriage rates have dropped? According to the US Census Bureau, only 25% of Americans age…

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When You and Your Spouse Don’t Agree

By Family Discipleship, Marriage, Parenting: Childhood, Parenting: Early Years, Parenting: Teens and Beyond

What if my spouse and I disagree on child-rearing decisions or philosophy? The classic conflicts that newlyweds face–where to squeeze the toothpaste, which way the toilet paper rolls–have their equally classic counterparts in parenting: What activities do we choose and how many? Can the kids play before their chores are done? Do the kids even have chores? What’s the response to someone not finishing what’s on her plate?” Disagreement in child-rearing can be a common occurrence. After all, two well-intentioned Christian parents will have different approaches to child-rearing, child discipline, and the individual decisions we each have to make for our children. The…

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How Do I Lead When I Don’t Know Where to Go?

By Family Discipleship, Leadership, Marriage

I was recently asked this question by an earnest new husband. He is easygoing with an energetic wife. Both wanted to honor the Lord. But he articulated a struggle he was having as they faced some unexpected decisions that had large financial consequences. I thought he articulated a struggle many young (and older) men have. How do I lead us when I don’t know where I am going? Here was my response. In one sense, you do know where you are going. You want to have a loving, caring relationship with your wife. You want to honor the Lord with…

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Chap Bettis – Preventing Destructive Marital Conflict

By Family Discipleship, Marriage, Podcast
In any marriage, there will be disagreements, but do you know how to keep your conflict constructive rather than destructive? The issue is not whether we'll have conflict or not, but whether that conflict will be destructive or constructive. Constructive conflict leads to a new understanding of each other, the issue, and ourselves. You end up closer together at the end. Destructive conflict, on the other hand, results in continued upset and bitterness. It leads the parties to pull away emotionally. So how do we prevent destructive marriage conflict? It's vitally important that we understand this because our marriage displays...
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Dads: Don’t and Do Defend Your Wife

By Christian Living, Family Discipleship, Leadership, Marriage

I was recently presenting a workshop on overcoming anger, and two moms brought up a point that may help all of us. I stated that anger is an emotion given to us when we see something that is important and wrong. However, Ephesians 4:26 tells us, “In your anger, do not sin.” That is to say, anger is a special temptation to sin. We are often wrong in our understanding of how important and how wrong something is. We can be sinfully angry in how we address something. But we also need to allow that anger, I said, to prompt…

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28 Communication Inhibitors

By Christian Living, Family Discipleship, Leadership, Marriage

Let’s take a moment and think about a number of things that inhibit communication. I came across this list in my files. I think it is original but if it isn’t I am happy to give credit. I believe you will find this list of different inhibitors convicting. When we act this way we can confess our sin. And again, we also want to train our children in good communication. The Silent Treatment – sulking, withdrawing (2 Corinthians 6:11-13, Genesis 3:8, 1 John 1:7, Ephesian 4:25 speak truthfully) Using inflammatory words – stupid, etc. (Proverbs 12:18, Proverbs 16:24) Using generalizing words – always, never,…

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Four Keys to Self-Awareness

By Christian Living, Family Discipleship, Leadership, Marriage

Part of a good leader’s job is to continually grow. Paul told Timothy, “Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress” (1 Tim 4:15). This growth will often come through self-reflection and self-correction – also called repentance. But how does this occur in real life? Why is it that some individuals keep on doing the same thing over and over again? I propose it is because they have not made a mental habit of self-reflection. I was a computer programmer for a few short years before the internet. When an issue would arise in the middle…

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