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Marriage

Dads: Don’t and Do Defend Your Wife

By Christian Living, Family Discipleship, Leadership, Marriage

I recently was presenting a workshop on overcoming anger, and two moms brought up a point that may help all of us. I stated that anger is an emotion given to us when we see something that is important and wrong. However, Ephesians 4:26 tells us, “In your anger, do not sin.” That is to say, anger is a special temptation to sin. We are often wrong in our understanding of how important and how wrong something is. We can be sinfully angry in how we address something. But we also need to allow that anger, I said, to prompt…

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28 Communication Inhibitors

By Christian Living, Family Discipleship, Leadership, Marriage

Let’s take a moment and think about a number of things that inhibit communication. I came across this list in my files. I think it is original but if it isn’t I am happy to give credit. I believe you will find this list of different inhibitors convicting. When we act this way we can confess our sin. And again we also want to train our children in good communication. The Silent Treatment – sulking, withdrawing. (2 Corinthians 6:11-13, Genesis 3:8, 1 John 1:7, Ephesian 4:25 speak truthfully) Using inflammatory words – stupid, etc. (Proverbs 12:18, Proverbs 16:24) Using generalizing words – always, never,…

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Four Keys to Self-Awareness

By Christian Living, Family Discipleship, Leadership, Marriage

Part of a good leader’s job is to continually grow. Paul told Timothy, “Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress” (1 Tim 4:15). This growth will often come through self-reflection and self-correction – also called repentance. But how does this occur in real life? Why is it that some individuals keep on doing the same thing over and over again? I propose it is because they have not made a mental habit of self-reflection. I was a computer programmer for a few short years before the internet. When an issue would arise in the middle…

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What Causes Fights and Quarrels [in My Marriage]?

By Christian Living, Marriage

Every marriage relationship experiences conflict. Sometimes it can be healthy conflict. Many times it can be destructive conflict. I have already written about preventing destructive conflict here. James 4:1-2 is well-known but often not thought of when it comes to the marriage relationship. This verse can provide some special help in understanding your last conflict and moving towards a more positive discussion next time. What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You…

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Preventing Destructive Marital Conflict

By Marriage

Conflict in marriage is a common issue. It is not the sign of an unhealthy marriage. The goal is not to have a conflict-free marriage. The goal is to have healthy conflict. Healthy conflict builds a marriage. Unhealthy or destructive conflict can destroy a marriage. What are some principles that can keep us from destructive conflict? I would suggest the following: 1. Cultivate self-awareness. The rest of these principles will do no good if you are not aware of or if you are constantly excusing what comes out of your mouth. We must start with an ongoing awareness of what…

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